I’m armed with a cup of very strong tea and an espresso cup full of Percy Pigs (I can’t be trusted with the whole bag) avoiding having a weep. I’ve been putting off writing this for the last week as it makes it far too real.
A few weeks ago, Al wrote a great post about how we didn’t know what was going to happen about the wedding and how it doesn’t actually matter when we get married as long as we do in the end. Which is very very true but don’t tell him he’s wise otherwise it will go to his head!
Covid-19 has changed a lot of things and it’s definitely made it’s mark on our year! Instead of happily planning our wedding in August, we’d become so wound up about following the news and fretting about whether or not our loved ones who are shielding would be able to come that we had lost all of the joy.
Joy is a big thing in our lives, feeling good feels good! We all need more of that sh*t! And if it’s not feeling good then change it. This has been my outlook since I got ill a few years back and it applies to everything, wedding included.
We weren’t able to enjoy the preparation for the wedding, it was stressful, we couldn’t go shopping for flower girl dresses or even flowers! Nevermind trying to find a band! It had just become a huge source of stress and anxiety. The thought of not being able to share our day with those that we love or even worse someone becoming ill from attending the wedding made us realise that there was no point in fretting about it, we needed to do something.
Now we’re incredibly fortunate that almost all of our wedding was an in-house job at the beautiful Priory Hotel, we only had a couple of other vendors to get in contact with (N.B: If you’re a wedding photographer reading this, reach out! Our original photographer is unavailable on our new date.) so overall it hasn’t been a particularly stressful experience (thanks to our parents who took one for the team and told family members, we just weren’t up to it). It has however been emotional.
Now these emotions are completely understandable however my logical mind couldn’t figure out why I was so upset. We were still getting married, just a year later. So I did what I did best, I sat with it, meditated on it, threw on all of the floral essential oils and then we allowed ourselves to wallow in it for the evening. We accepted the saddness and didn’t try to belittle it. We made a delicious dinner (thank you Fresh From the Fields!) and watched something funny on the telly.
We’re so eager to push away those feelings of saddness and disappointment sometimes but often simply sitting with it can be the most helpful thing to move through it.
So here are some of my tips for brides and grooms at the moment:
If you’re unsure as to what the ‘right’ course of action is, sit quietly with your eyes closed. Take some deep breaths and ask yourself ‘What is the right thing for us?’ and then just listen. Keep your attention on the breath and on the question, and let your inner voice guide you. It might sound a bit ‘woo’ but trust me, your gut will tell you! It might show up as a feeling, a word or an image. Trust it.
If you’re feeling fretful about asking your venue about postponing/cancelling – before you make the call take a few rounds of box breathing. It will instanly calm you and allow you to talk from a place of calm rather than a place of stress. This makes people far more likely to respond well to you.
Whatever you decide don’t forget to remind your partner of how much you love them, how much you’re looking forward to marrying them and how much you appreciate them. You’re both going to be feeling a bit sad so pile on those loving acts for a few days, make them extra cups of tea, take the time to cook together, to snuggle on the sofa, remind yourselves of how much you love each other because in the end, it’s these acts of love that matter not the marriage certificate.
I hope that these tips are of help to anyone who is navigating weddings and Covid-19, it’s the strangest time that none of us could have expected. If you need a chat, I’m always here.
With love, Beth x
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